


Shared Nights

by CurlyCue



Series: Homestuck/Reader Drabbles [10]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Dirk helps reader calm down, F/M, Female Reader, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Reader-Insert, Strong Language, Yikes, lmao yikes i feel the need to tag this one, talks about being a girl in the beginning tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 17:17:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7692880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurlyCue/pseuds/CurlyCue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Dirk is probably OOC but I don't really give a shit</p><p>this one is also pale redrom as you can probably guess</p><p>i love palerom</p><p>anyway, the prompt was <strong>dirk gets in [name]'s bed and sleeps in it</strong>, but we'll get to that in later chapters</p><p>(tell me what else I should tag, because I am not good at that XD)</p>
    </blockquote>





	Shared Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Dirk is probably OOC but I don't really give a shit
> 
> this one is also pale redrom as you can probably guess
> 
> i love palerom
> 
> anyway, the prompt was **dirk gets in [name]'s bed and sleeps in it** , but we'll get to that in later chapters
> 
> (tell me what else I should tag, because I am not good at that XD)

Being a human girl going through puberty while stuck with mostly aliens from another universe and a handful of humans (and sort of humans?? Did Jade count as human anymore?) would be hard enough, but of course, that wasn't even the half of it. 

Of course you had to be a hormonal teen riddled with anxiety and stress, plagued by migraines with a generally-nocturnal-if-anything mess of a sleeping schedule; fucking insomnia and paranoia and fear of being alone. 

And on top of it all, you always somehow managed to make everything your problem and something you needed to help with. You liked to blame your parents for making everything your fault as a kid. But when you ended up irritating people by "butting into their business", (even when they asked for your help) you secretly got really hurt by it; you always gave genuine advice, and when they shat all over it, you had to wonder what was wrong with it. Was it your fault you were like this? Did you just make everything worse? You never knew. 

Dirk was the only one with even an inkling of how much you cared about it, and while he tried his best and was a real sweetheart, you just didn't want to make your problems his. 

Of course, that plan went to shit the minute you started feeling the ever-present anxiety swirl in your gut, on the prowl, slowly mixing itself with your it's-dark-this-makes-me-scared paranoia and fear and manifesting as a frenzied flurry of limbs as you clutched at your head, hands over your ears because the silence was deafening, and suddenly you were sitting up, your legs swung over the side of the bed, and then you were moving. You were on autopilot, no idea where you were going, but it was dark and you would stumble over yourself every few seconds but you kept your eyes clenched shut for the most part and even in the rare few seconds they were open, your gaze was fixed on the floor because you were scared of what you might see, and all of a sudden, you were stopped, and standing in front of a door and _shit this is Dirk's room fuckfuckfuck you can't bug him seeing you like this will make him worried but you reallyreallyreally need someone present oh god oh god oh god--_

The door opened, and a bleary-eyed Dirk was staring at you for less than a minute before the sleepy look was replaced with alarm and now he was ushering you inside, fuck, being with him was making it a little better already but you felt bad because _he was probably sleeping oh god oh god you fucked up now he's concerned and bothered over you ohgodohgodohgod fuck why can't you function normally and work like a regular person ohhhh fuckfuckfuck now he's staring and it's awkward why haven't you said anything literally the only noise you're making is ragged breathing what the hell oh god is he freaked out he probably is ohgodohgodohgod--_

"[--ame]? [Name], dude, holy shit, can you hear me? What happened? Are you hurt? [Name], you don't have to talk, but at least respond, or I'm gonna have to get Rose because I'm not good at this." 

He was talking to you. _Oops._ You inhaled sharply and deeply and suddenly and it was like the floodgates opened, because you let out a choked sob, unaccompanied by tears, and you couldn't stop rambling if you tried. 

"Oh god, oh fuck, I'm sorry, I should have stayed in my room, I don't know why I came, I'm sorry, I don't want you to be worried, fuck- shit, ugh, fuck, I'm sorry, I can't, oh god, I'm freaking you out, oh no fUCK, oh god, please don't tell anyone about this, I'm sorry, shit--" 

You stood on unsteady feet- when had you sat down?- and moved toward the door, feeling sick. You knew leaving would only make it worse, but you'd bothered someone with your bullshit and that was fucking unacceptable, everybody had enough to worry about without you on the list. 

Little to your surprise but almost to your relief, Dirk blocked your path. At the same time as you felt relieved, you were panicking and anxious as hell, knowing you'd have to try to communicate your awful feelings to someone for the first time in seemingly forever. 

Your exit blocked, you turned around and began to pace, receding into mumbled chanting of "oh no oh god fuck".

You could feel Dirk's presence move to stand beside you, and all of a sudden, it, _he_ was in front of you, his hands hovering over you unsurely before settling on your upper arms. He was barely touching you, probably hoping to whatever deities were out there that he wasn't making anything worse. 

"Hey, _hey._ [Name], look at me. No, _at_ me, not through me, got it?" 

His voice was soft and gentle, and a little bit strained, probably from worry. You tried to focus on him, failing at first, then shook your head and tried again, more successfully this time. He smiled slightly. 

"Good. _Good._ Now take a deep breath, right? Yeah, do that," Dirk continued to give you simple commands, which you proceeded to follow shakily. 

When you had finally calmed down- somewhere between 15 and 45 minutes after the initial breakdown (you had a really awful internal clock)- he affixed you with a questioning stare, but before he could say anything, you asked if you could possibly have a drink. 

"What? Oh- sure. Hang on, I'll be right back."

And so he disappeared into the kitchen.

**Author's Note:**

> ayyy why did I write this
> 
> lmao I write these on my phone, why do I torture myself like this
> 
> anyway, feel free to comment, i love getting those  
> kudos and stuff are great too  
> ;D


End file.
